RELATIONSHIPS.
How to improve them to fantastic!
10 GOOD THINGS TO SAY TO YOUR WIFE
We all know that there are certain things you should never say to your wife, but what about the things that you should be saying to your wife? It's easy to say the wrong thing, but with a bit of thought, we can say the right thing and reap the rewards thereof.

So here are 10 things you can say to your wife that will get your share price up!

1. I love you. (OK, if you don't, then remember that love is not a feeling, but a decision. Make the decision and say the words! After all, you made the decision when you got married.)

2. "Yes my love, I'll fix it right now." This will really get her excited!

3. Choose a bodily feature that you have always liked, and compliment her on it. For example, "Your eyes are really beautiful." Look for some new things you can compliment her on too.

4. When she does something right, like make a nice supper, tell her "This is really, really good! You're a star!"

5. When you find her talking to a younger woman that you don't know, ask her "Were you in school with that lady? Not? Oh, you looked about the same age.."

6. When she's got a nice perfume on, tell her "You smell like heaven!"

7. Tell her "You are my best friend."

8. Tell her firmly "I'm going to do the dishes for you; no arguments."

9. Surprise her with "I'm taking you out for coffee and muffins."

10. "I'm going to clean my garage out today." (It may take a week or three, but the mere mention of this task will get you into the pound seats with your wife.)

Apparently, according to wives, when the husband works in the garage and fixes up the house, this is extremely pleasing to the female species, and causes them to nurture amorous feelings towards their spouses. In other words guys, it gives your wife the hots for you.

A happy wife is a creative wife, a good cook, and a good friend. It is really worth our while to make our wives happy. It takes quite a bit of hard work, and generosity, and humility. But it pays off.

Hopefully these 10 tips will help. Remember to keep them honest and genuine. Wives sometimes know us better than we know ourselves, so don't try and bluff your way into her heart! Lying to your wife is a little more dangerous than drinking nitric acid and smoking a stick of dynamite at a gas station.

Just the mere fact that you've read this far indicates that you have a desire to say good things to your wife. Good for you! May your marriage be fun!
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What Real Love Is.
Love is not a feeling. It's not a mood. It's not liking someone, or respect. When we talk about real love, as it should manifest itself in marriage, it is an unshakeable bulwark.

Love is a decision. Not a casual decision, but a long, seriously thought out decision that you set in concrete. Like a contract that you put on yourself. When you make this kind of decision, you don't change your mind because a nasty word was said to you. The decision must be irrevocable, to be real love.

We enter into this decision with our eyes wide open. We must know and accept the terms of this decision to love before we decide, and we must accept them fully and wholeheartedly.

This type of enduring love is not for sissies, and people that expect to never get hurt. Sometimes it can be really sore. There's a hard knot where your heart supposed to be. But like bad weather, it passes over after awhile. That's why this decision has to be set in concrete. To weather those storms.

The decision is:

1. To be kind and gentle with the other person no matter what they throw at you. You don't stop loving them because they were nasty to you, because the decision is independant of your feelings. It's set in concrete, not in mush.

2. To never, ever bad mouth them to anyone: not your mother, not your brother, not your best friend. Speak only good about them. Even when joking and teasing, words should be chosen carefully, and tenderness must prevail. This cultivates an attitude of benevolence in your heart, which makes conflicts easier to resolve.

3. To give without ever expecting anything in return. Of course it's tough, and we all fail at this one, but that's the target we should set our sights on. Like the old cliche says: if you aim for the sun, and miss, at least you'll be among the stars. If we expect nothing back, and then we do in fact get loved back, this is a tremendous bonus: and it should be viewed as such. Never take the return of love for granted.

4. To put the other person first. Even when we're tired, or sick, or stressed. Even when they are not putting us first. Even when they don't deserve it.

5. To always encourage and help the other. To support their dreams and hopes, and to build them up and give them self respect and confidence.

These things are hard to do, make no mistake. But they build a solid relationship that can weather almost any turmoil. It takes two to tango, it is said, and it also takes two to fight. If one refuses to fight, but instead loves in this way, the fight dies, and relationships are healed.

And a healed relationship takes that hard knot in your heart away, and replaces it with a deep joy that makes life a whole lot sweeter!
Creative Incentive Ewards
What To Do If Your Parents Are Divorcing
A pain in your heart, like a weight pushing in on it, is something kids in a divorce feel a lot. It's a cruel, hard thing to happen to any young person, and it should never, ever happen. But it does, and so this article is especially for you: the son or daughter of the parents who are getting a divorce.

Firstly: you are OK. Sure, you may have done some bad things; you may have made life a little difficult for your parents at times. But this is NO EXCUSE for them to get divorced. Their divorce is NOT your fault. So don't feel guilty, but rather clear your mind of guilt so that you can better handle the challenges ahead. Now remember - you are special, and wonderful, and God loves you! So keep your chin up and lets see what you can do about this problem!

Your parents will also be feeling tremendous pain at this time, even if they don't show it. So try and feel pity for them, and not bitterness or anger. They are actually just confused, bewildered people who have lost sight of what they had - what made them fall in love with each other in the first place.

What you can do is try to remind them of those things. You may not have been there at the time :-) but you could ask your parents (maybe one at a time) about where they met for the first time, why they liked each other, where they went on dates, funny things that happened to them, their first kiss... It's possible to get your folks back together, even after they have divorced. (The author knows of two couples who remarried each other after being divorced for a few years!!)  So don't give up.

Try to love both your parents with all your strength, with all your heart and all your mind. The love you need to have for them is a "I want nothing back" kind of love. A giving love. Now this is a hard thing for a young kid to do; in fact it's hard for adults too - but it's worth it. By loving them like this you will be breaking the cycle of bitterness and selfishness that often characterizes a marriage breakup. And although it's hard, imagine if you succeed ! That means that you will then reap a reward of having a family again, and that love will be returned to you!

Remember that you are not alone. There are a lot of other kids that are going through the same thing. If you've got access to a computer and the internet, maybe you could start a blog (You can do it for free) where you and other kids can talk about their experiences - sort of like a support group - just so you don't feel alone. "A problem shared is a problem halved."

Last but not least: If you want to read the handbook on marriage by the person that designed it in the first place, get yourself a Bible and read Corinthians and Ephesians. Then you will see what a marriage is really supposed to be like.

And when you get married (because you are definitely going to get through this bad time) make sure that you marry for Life! Scratch the word 'divorce' out of your dictionary!



Authors Note:
Hi,
I really feel for you in this situation. My daughter is dating a guy who's parents are separated and his dad doesn't like him, his Mom lives far away and has remarried, and I can see his heart is so sore. So to all you others who are in this situation: I hope this article helps a little bit. I'll be rooting for you to succeed!

All the best. Hang in there! Remember you are SPECIAL!!!

Duncan Kelly
Duncan Kelly, EzineArticles.com Platinum Author
Do You Wish You Could Do More For Your Kids?
We remember happy times from our childhood. We remember all the fun we had when Dad or Mom took us to the fun fair, or the beach, or camping. And as we grow older and our kids grow up, we wish we could give them the same happy times so that they too would have happy memories of their childhood - but we can't, because the money is so tight, and we have to work long hours just to make ends meet, and there's never time to do stuff with the kids. Our jobs take us to places where there's nothing interesting to do or to go to, or it's not safe to go anywhere, and so we grow sad as we see our kids bored and sad and stressed, instead of carefree and happy, like we were at their age.

DON'T LOSE HOPE!
We share these emotions of inadequacy and frustration, sadness and regret with a large portion of the human race. But we often don't realise that we are loving our kids the best we can under the circumstances, and the kids know that, and they appreciate it, even though they may very seldom say so. Kids instinctively know if you care or not. In their hearts, they will know if you love them. And that will be a memory that will always stay with them.

THEY HAVE YOU, AND THEY NEED YOU.
What kids really want, is to have Mom and Dad around, whether with or without money. Just the security they have with you being there, and the fact that you care about them, even if you can't do much to show it, is enough to give a child the happy memory of a parent who tucked them into bed at night, or woke them up with a cup of tea in the morning. A few words of encouragement here and there, chatting with them over the kitchen table - all these little things are precious to a child. They need YOU. Not what you can give them, and not where you can take them, but YOU. If you've recently gotten divorced, dump the new spouse and remarry your first spouse. You loved them once - decide to love them again. Then your kids will have a family again. Thinking of a divorce? Don't do it. Humble yourself and love with no thought of being loved back. It will make a world of difference to your kids. See the movie/DVD "Fireproof." for more details.

IT'S YOUR HEART THAT COUNTS
Kids have a way of knowing that you are trying hard to make a better life for them. When you are struggling financially, suddenly your child will come up and offer you all their savings to make it easier for you! They know when you are doing your best, and they love you for it. Teenagers may not tell you that, but under all the sassy words and cheeky actions, they also know you are trying, and they appreciate it. You may just find a note on your bed saying "Have a great day Dad!" and a smiley face, which is their way of saying thanks for all your hard work. Kids know your heart.

REPRIORITIZE
You can also make things go a bit better by reprioritizing what you do. We have to work of course, so that the family can eat and be clothed, but we can put the family up above other activities like helping in the community, watching TV, even church or social work. These things are not bad, but our family needs to have a higher priority, so if there's time and resources left after tending your family's needs, then we can do these other things.

THE PAST IS, ACTUALLY, HISTORY.
Regrets make our hearts sore, but there is nothing we can do about all the mistakes of the past. Sure, we've made mistakes, they may have robbed our kids of some of their childhood, but we need to forget what is behind us, and press on with determination to love our kids NOW in the present. Regrets only sap our energy and lower our self esteem, both of which do our kids no good whatsoever. So FORGET THE PAST. It's History.

The bottom line? Don't be sad. No regrets. Your kids know you are doing your best. Keep on loving them with all your strength.  Be encouraged!  If you have kids and you're trying, you're already a hero!
10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Teenage Daughter.
As fathers, we are usually not very good at communicating with our teenage daughters. We can get by, to an extent, by remaining silent as much as possible. Sometimes, though, we have to answer questions, give commands (which are usually instantly disobeyed) and give our opinion. Us Dads know, of course, that our opinion ranks way down there, a little lower than pond slime, but we have to give it anyway.

There are some utterances, though, that are invitations to disaster. These you should avoid at all costs, if you want to have a reasonably quiet life. Here's 10 of the worst...

1.  Are you getting fat?

2.  Give me your cellphone. I want to check your calls. A better idea than this is to go find a grizzly bear and kick it in the ribs with your spiked hiking boots. You'll come off better.

3.  No, you can't have the Apple iPhone. You can have Mom's old phone. It's nice and simple.

4.  Is that a new top you're wearing?  Usual answer: "Dad, I bought this thing 2 years ago!"

5.  If she asks you, "Do you like my hair?" NEVER say, "Why, what did you do to it?"

6.  What do you need brand names for? Why don't you just wear cheap clothes?

7.  I phoned that guy you were talking to in town the other day. I invited him over for lunch. Is that OK?

8.  Is that a pimple on your nose?

9.  I'm taking your iPod away, because your grades are down. Oh Boy! Asta La Vista Baby!

10. I've invited your teacher over for dinner.

Saying any one of these reckless things will ensure that you get a volcanic eruption of vitriol from your teenager. Using all 10 is masochistic insanity, and could disrupt the universe and cause earthquakes and bad TV reception.

There's no denying that teenagers certainly make life interesting. Remember how bored you got as a teenager? Well, since you've had teenagers yourself, I bet the boredom went away!  We're too busy defending ourselves and carefully checking each word we say!
IS LIFE WORTH LIVING ?
Bright eyed little squirrels don't ask this question. Ever wondered why? Because they live in the present, with an eager anticipation of the next acorn that they are going to find.
People, on the other hand, accumulate a mountain of memories of bad experiences, worries about the future, and dread of the day ahead that dulls their eyes and burdens their spirits.
But life is still good! Our perception of it may be foggy, but there is so much good; so much fun and excitement; so much fullness and abundance and joy in life! We just need to wipe the peanut butter of anxiety out of our eyes so that we can see all the beauty and potential of life.
HOW TO MAKE LIFE WORTH LIVING
BE KIND
The most sure fire way to make life meaningful and happy, is to be kind to others. Nothing backfires so wonderfully as kindness shown to another person. Especially if it's an unloved, unlovely person. A million bucks wouldn't buy you the feeling of joy that bubbles inside you when you are kind and gentle to someone without any thought of being paid back. Be Kind.
WAYS TO BE KIND
Old people, especially those cooped up in old age homes and frail care, can always use some kindness. Just reading a book to them is like heaven. Many of them are loosing their sight and cannot read. Taking them a few biscuits. Simple things can really make their day. And yours!
Little kids love kindness. As they say in finance, they give good ROI, which is Return On Investment! Kindness shown to a 5 year old is instantly returned! Just listening to their stories and showing interest builds up their self esteem and will bless you too.
If you see a tramp trying his best to salvage something from a trashcan, go and buy him a Kentucky meal or a Mcdonalds burger, and give him something to be happy about. Sometimes these little acts of mercy can turn a guys life around.
A True Story: An 85 year old lady was standing in a queue at the checkout counter at a store. When she got to the cashier, she was informed that the guy that was 2 people before her had paid for all her groceries, and there was change too, which was paid out to her! The man had disappeared, but he made her week!
LISTEN
Just listening to people, and showing interest in what they are saying, no matter how boring the subject matter, will lift their spirits and you will also feel better that you've made a positive difference in someone's life. Some people are not good speakers or communicators, but if you listen carefully, you will find that they also have a contribution to make to life and society.
BE THANKFUL
Be thankful for what you DO have: count all the things in your life that are good. Like legs to walk with, a place to stay, a friend, food, that you have hair, that you don't live in Zimbabwe or Chernobyl, that you can taste stuff, that you are not brain damaged - and the list goes on and on, pages and pages long, of blessings that you have. Once you see how long the list is, you will realise that you have a lot going for yourself in life.
BE POSITIVE
Living a full, abundant life does require a decision, and that is to decide to live life positively, with optimism and enthusiasm. To give it your best shot. To pick yourself up and try again after every setback. To remain hopeful.
Life is worth living, and life is worth giving. For it is in giving that we receive.
WHATS ON THIS PAGE..
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10 Good Things to Say to Your Wife

What Real Love Is

What To Do If Your Parents Are Divorcing

Do You Wish You Could do More For Your Kids?

10 Things You Should Never Say To Your Teenage Daughter

Is Life Worth Living?

Am I Really So Useless?

Dealing With Disappointment
Am I Really So Useless?
The short answer?  NO!  NO, you're NOT useless.

Everyone has talents and gifts. Everyone can make a difference in this world. Everyone.

Every person has the same amount of gifting, or talents. But everyone is different. Albert Einstein was useless at school, especially at Math. Yet he went on to become one of the greatest scientists of all time. It was just that his manner of thinking didn't fit in with the school system he was a part of. He thought out of the box, so he appeared unintelligent, but he was not.

Some people are able to do amazing things with their hands, but are useless at math or accounting. Their talents do not lie in the academic field; but they are extremely clever people, able to visualise objects in 3D and conceptualise a project without ever lifting a pencil.

Other people just have an amazing talent for being kind to people, and caring for the unlovely, the old and the crippled. This is a gift, and you'd better believe it.

The world has skewed the perception of what makes a person valuable, and what makes a person clever or useful to society. People measure success by the size of your house or the price of your car; but this is a flawed value system, as they give low values to people that are vital to the continued existence of society. For example, if there was no sewerage system, how long do you think cities would be pleasant to live in? If no building had toilets, how would we survive? It's a thing we think is unimportant, when in fact it is vital. And so it is with what we class as "unimportant people."  There is no such thing as an unimportant person.

Everyone is important. Everyone is useful. Often the simplest, poorest person is the wisest. Remember the chicken farmer with a back to front cap that won  America's got Talent? Did you notice how people misjudged him? Sometimes we have to really look closely to see talents and gifts in people. But it's always there somewhere. People often hide these gifts because they worry about what other people will think of them, but with encouragement from a friend or two, their talents blossom, and we find that they are absolutely awesome at what they do.

So don't ever think you are useless, or unintelligent. It may just be that you have not discovered where your gift lies, or you haven't been encouraged enough to get out there and do what you know you are good at.

You are vital to society. You can make a difference. You are needed.
DEALING WITH DISAPPOINTMENT
Sometimes things just don't work out the way we hoped. Finances are low, family is fighting or grumpy, and our efforts at improving our situation are not succeeding. We go to the postbox hoping to get a letter with good news, or a check, or notification that we've won one of the hundreds of competitions that we've entered, and there's only bills. A big one from the vet too, for that thing that our dog Rover came down with last week.
Disappointment can be hard to cope with at times, especially when it has been ongoing for months or years, or even decades. I know how it feels. It saps our energy, making it hard to try again. We kind of think "What's the use? I'm going to fail again anyway.." Don't think that! Never give up!
There's an old joke about these people that tried to make a new type of soft drink that would make them rich. They called it one-up, and it was a disaster. Nobody liked it. So they tried with a new product called two-up. It too, failed dismally. So they tried again, and again. Finally, after their last product, 6-up failed, they gave up. If only they had known how close they were! Kinda lame joke, but the principle is true, that we often give up when we are really close to success.
Winston Churchill was once asked to speak at a graduation ceremony. After all the preliminary speeches, he was introduced grandly. He stood up, went to the podium, and said "Never give up." Then he sat down. After a pause he got up again, and said "Never, ever give up." and he sat down again. After another pause he got up again and boomed "Never, ever, ever give up!" That was his entire speech; it was the entirity of what he thought was the most important thing to tell all these very clever young people. And it is wisdom.
Another way of looking at it is this: dis-appointment is His-appointment, meaning that God is in control of all circumstances and events, and whatever disappointment you may suffer is all part of God's plan; maybe He is trying to teach you patience, or humility (something no one likes to learn!) or maybe He has something better or different planned for you.
So how best can we cope with disappointment? Try some of these ideas:
1. Whatever you've been striving at, take a break from it. Relax, and turn your attention to something completely different for awhile, before returning to your project. This is not giving up, but rather giving your mind and emotions a chance to take a "deep breath." It gives inspiration a chance to kick in again.
2. Check carefully whether what you are trying to do is good and ethical. If it's not, it may be that God is blocking you for your own good.
3. Ask someone you trust whether your expectations are too high. As an example, if you're 3 foot 4 inches tall and you want to be a basketball star, maybe it's a bit out of your reach.
4. Consciously and decisively think of all the good things you have in life, like 2 legs, air to breathe, sky above your head, family, friends, a job, whatever good things are in your life: remember them and be thankful for these things.
5. Remember all the millions of people that are in the same boat as you. Many people, including myself, also have to deal with these same things. You are not alone! We suffer, but we suffer together. And a burden shared is a burden halved. So be encouraged!
6. And lastly, don't give up! Get up, and try again! Success is all about overcoming failure. Apparently Thomas Edison tried some ridiculous number of times, something like 600 times, to invent the light globe, and yet he finally succeeded, through pure perseverance.
So let us do like wise. I wish you all God's blessings, and I hope that you will finally succeed and achieve your dreams.
Never, ever, Ever give up!
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